What kind of ball now?

I had a CT scan done on August 3 and the baseball sized mass has shrunken from the size of a baseball to about the size of a tennis ball.  A very concrete image to me - not because I play tennis, but because I use a couple of them in the dryer to fluff things up and to sometimes play fetch with any of my grand-doggies that come to visit.

Plus, I found out that my normally football-sized liver is probably a little overinflated because of the inflammation.  So, my over-inflated football with a tennis ball inside it is the most current description.

Well, I've made it through ½ of the Chemotherapy. It has not been too bad at all so far. 8 treatments, even though one of them had to be cancelled because of low levels of neutrophils (infection fighting cells).  This is a result of the cell-killing Chemotherapy. They have been staying on top of this issue and give injections that stimulate my body to make more neutrophils.  It works every time.  

I still struggle with nausea and mid-back pain every day - just like I did long before Chemotherapy started... as far back as last summer on our trip to Tajikistan. These are the symptoms that, as they escalated, made me realize something was wrong with me.  Other symptoms of dizziness, abdominal bloating and pain are still with me too, but I'm dealing with them.  I have medications that take the edge off, but I really hate the side effects from taking them.

Either way, I'm kinda stuck in a cycle of not feeling like being with people in general.  No offense, people in general!  I am a performing introvert - meaning I have always tended to put on an act of Ok-ness when I'm with people and it truly wipes me out!  Unfortunately, my dear hub gets the real me ... all the time.  Poor fella.

Humorously, the most common reaction I get from people is, "You look great!  You didn't lose your hair!"  Those people are right about the hair.

Part of my Bible memory verses a couple of weeks ago was 2 Corinthians 12:9 (The Lord says) "'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.'"

I want to quit the vanity of play-acting so I can fully embrace and declare that I am weak.  

This blog is a start.  Congratulations to me.

BTW, I regret not posting and update on my brother, Johnnie, who did recover from a COVID infection, was discharged after being in the hospital for a week and has been back at his facility.  I'm so relieved, but not nearly as much as he must be to be back in the familiar surroundings!



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